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Disclaimer

All characters in our satirical news articles are fictional. Any use of real names is coincidental and purely unintentional. Any similarities to actual persons or events is also pure coincidence and not our intent. We cannot emphasise enough how coincidental our fictional entities are to any real life individual, entity, or character. Stories are presented for their humorous value and are not true. If one of the stories happens to become fact, it should be considered a lucky guess, and not as a result of any inside information. It's really all just made up. If our story happens to parallel any other parodied or satired story, that too should be considered coincidence.
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